When this happens, we usually aim higher. We put pressure on ourselves and hope that motivates us to reach our goals. We get harder on ourselves. This rarely gets us to be successful.
How can we fix this?
I’ve found that this lesson can go a long way to achieving success.
Lower your bar for what you consider “success”
Many of us are perfectionists. We shoot for an ideal life, and if we fall short we feel like failures. Living like this pretty much sets us up for failure. The reality is, we rarely experience the ideal life we build in our minds. Sometimes things go better than we expect, and sometimes they go worse than we expect. If something goes better, we’re happy. We get disappointed if something goes worse than we expect. So in essence, our expectations determine our levels of success and our emotions.
Recently I was reading, “How to be an Imperfectionist” and it details that if we lower our bar for what we call success, we’ll find ourselves in better control of our emotions and better able to set up habits that will drive us toward success.
For example, instead of success being going to the gym and working out for 2 hours and having a “perfect” workout, your level of success could be just driving to the gym. If you see that as a success, anything on top of that is extra and it’ll be easier to get in the habit of going to the gym. You’ll also build a continuous momentum.
To sum it up, we need to make being a success easier than being a failure.
When we do that, we will have the confidence to approach all aspects of our life with excitement, knowing that we can achieve. When you set a small goal for yourself, the beauty is that you’ll do a lot of work if you love the process. Lowering the bar just makes the barrier of entry easier so you’re more likely to begin working on whatever you’re trying to achieve.
This has worked for me, and I hope it works for you!
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